Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Gene Pool

There's an old joke about different definitions of heaven and hell:

Heaven Is Where:
The French are the chefs
The Italians are the lovers
The British are the police
The Germans are the mechanics
And the Swiss make everything run on time
Hell is Where:
The British are the chefs
The Swiss are the lovers
The French are the mechanics
The Italians make everything run on time
And the Germans are the police

I was reminded of this joke recently when I thought about what traits and characteristics I would like our baby to inherit from Katherine and me.  There's a very good way to mix our genes, and there's a very bad way.

Do we want our kid to have white boxes or black ones?

I hope our spawn has:
  • Katherine's temperament 
  • my immune system
  • her work ethic
  • my appreciation for leisure
  • her quick thinking
  • my sense of humor (because despite what Katherine thinks, I am hilarious)
  • her musical ability
  • my sports ability
  • her organizational skillz
  • my dishwashing skillz
  • her patience
  • my enthusiasm
  • her initiative 
  • my morning person-ness (I don't want more people at the breakfast table who won't talk to me)
  • her math ability
  • my writing ability

There are also things that I hope our baby inherits from both of us:  intelligence, analytical thinking, independence, a sense of fairness, our nerdy love of spreadsheets.

Our little nerdling?

And then there are traits that we both share that it would be nice if the kid could mutate away from:  short, pale, paddle-like feet, our inability to dance, our (sometimes) social awkwardness.


Of course you can't customize your baby.  You get what you get, and you love it as best you can.  As I said in my last post, I have no idea how I'm going to take to parenting.  But it would be a challenge for me if our child had a wildly different personality than me.  What if s/he grows up to be shallow, stupid, materialistic, or cruel?  What if our kid grows into a Republican

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